Your Cyberdeath: your online memory after your demise

Posted on June 11th, 2007 by Richard Catto 3,865 views

How would you like to be remembered online after you die?

This past weekend, a 36 year old vivacious woman succumbed rather unexpectedly to brain cancer. Her name was Julie Walker and she lived in the leafy suburb of Pinelands, Cape Town.

For the past 12 months, Julie kept a blog on iblog.co.za under the pseudonym of Midnightfun. She lived up to her name – one can easily tell by reading her past blog entries that she was a happy warm-spirited fun person. She made many friends online, some of whom she met in person too.

I read through her blog earlier this morning with a deep sense of poignancy. I’m a sentimental person and discovering Julie for the first time only now after she is dead, made me a little sad.

One entry of hers that I came across gave the url to her profile on hotornot.com where people rate you, much like ratemybody.com. She was a very beautiful woman and she had been rated 9.6 out of 10.

I sent a note to the administrators of the site asking them to please remove her hotornot profile since she had died. I imagine that that is what she may have wanted. It seems a little disrespectful to be able to rate the looks of a now dead person.

Julie also still has a profile on at least one dating site.

Recently, a young American soldier had his dead body pulled from the Euphrates River in Baghdad, Iraq. His myspace profile received many comments from people expressing their condolences.

The question I asked myself was what of myself would I wish to persist online after my death, and what would I wish taken down.

I think I would like it most of it removed in time, but not immediately.

How about you? What do you want to persist online? Do you want it all removed, some of it removed or none of it removed?

I think it’s natural that when one dies, that your legacy eventually disappears. It’s something we should probably all add to our wills – our wishes for what happens to the data we placed online, that remains under our control.

Over the years, I have made many posts to various forums, newsgroups and blogs that are owned by others. Much of that will most likely persist indefinitely. That which I host myself, will no doubt disappear once I stop paying the hosting fees.

I know I’d like people to be told that I had perished, and not wonder whatever happened to that fellow, Richard Catto.

The people who posted death notices for Julie Walker online, did her a loving service, I believe.

Rest in peace, Julie, it is a pity I did not ever get to know you in life.

Filed under cyberdeath, Julie Walker, Midnightfun, Obituaries |

7 Responses to “Your Cyberdeath: your online memory after your demise”

1. Mandy Says:
   June 11th, 2007 at 13:01

   Thank you, it was a great post, she was a really special person, and our little iBlog.co.za community will never forget her!

2. Sean Rodgers Says:
   June 12th, 2007 at 15:09

   I think it’s great that family and friends remember their lost loved ones online. It’s a chance to reflect, share and celebrate the life of someone special to you and it’s accessible from wherever you are on the planet.
   Check out http://www.ourremembrance.com , I think it’s a good example.

3. Nicole Says:
   June 13th, 2007 at 13:41

   Your article was a great post, I knew Julie personally, having met her on iblog. She was a wonderful person and the world is a darker place without her. I am sad though that her blog was deleted, it would have been comforting to have been able to go back and read her memories and thoughts, especially now that she is gone.
   Her parents were so happy that I was at her funeral yesterday, as I suppose in a manner, I represented her cyber family and all he support she received from them. Her parents knew how important we were to her.
   I know I will never forget her and she will always be close to my heart.

4. Richard Catto Says:
   June 13th, 2007 at 16:13

   Thank you, Nicole and Mandy, for your comments.

   Julie’s iblog persists still and anyone who reads it, especially the last few entries, may need a few tissues on hand.

   I’m trying to move forward but feel myself slipping, clutching at wet grass.

   Reading that, some of her last online words, brought a lump to my throat. Six days later, she slipped out of life.

   Julie lost her battle with cancer on Friday, June 08 2007.

5. Sandy Buchanan Says:
   June 14th, 2007 at 11:47

   We have this new and novel technology that gives us another way to share our feelings about life , the good and the bad ,, the success the failure ,, the joy and the sadness ,, ourselves warts and all if we so please .
   Reading some of Julies comments showed indeed that she had courage in facing up to what she more than likely knew was an inevitable , in being able to reveal her feelings to many and getting response and encouragement from many she was in her own way sharing the load … the same applies to the sharing of feeling on her passing on .. we do not allow ourselves to mourn properly nowadays and by people sharing the feelings they are in effect sharing the load making it easier for that phase to pass , to reach an acceptance and final peace with lifes cycles .
   Keep on sharing .

6. Hilton Says:
   June 21st, 2007 at 11:28

   I read the article in Shape Magazine last night, and was hoping to send word of encouragement to Julie. Unfortunately was shocked to see the news when I went online this morning. My thoughts and prayers are with her family.

   She definately showed an astounding appreciation of day to day life. Her story has certainly made me look a life in a new light and sure others will to.

7. Pat Korn Says:
   April 12th, 2008 at 18:29

   Late is better than never. I am sure Julie is in the most wonderful space in the universe or beyond, where she deseves to be.

   I was googeling up Julies name and reached this site – and what I had presumed from the time I took up a new position in Namibia, had become a reallity – that her fate was working against her. Only now did I see that she had past away almost a year ago. As I reflect, I feel I do want to say something here publically about her, as she deserves greatest respect as the woman she was – kind of a makeup for not being there to say good bye.

   I was probably the first guy that she met on the net, just before her 35. birthday.She was still quite new to it all, but had the most creative profile on that dating site. We got to meet personally only a few days after – she was such an open person and very hospitable, spoiling me with tea and biscuits. We had really great conversation about God and the world and it just took an instant to realise, that this “girl” was not just good looking but extremely intelligent. The only weakness I sensed, was that she tended to put others before herself, even if those others would exploit her for it. She explained her condition to me from day one – another example of her being truthfully open. I did not show it, but deep within me I felt, that this whole thing was bigger than me, I felt like I was in a catch 22. That is where the difference comes in, if you can no longer hide behind an online curtain and pretend everything is great. Julie, the type of person she was forgave my human weakness and we remained friends for a few months on, then lost contact when I moved to Windhoek – she told me the tumorcell was active again. I think the fact that I was enjoying success in life and doing great, while she was in her situation, we did not fit into each others reality and after all she did not depend on it.

   One of the nicest moments we shared, was when we watched the movie “What the bleep…” There was an obvious reason we watched that film together – it still means a lot to me now – bought the DVD and when I watch it, I remember watching it with her. Anyway, I think she loved the opening with the storm in the brain…

   Julie would have deserved all the happiness in life you can get and also the best man in the world. She would have made a fantastic mother herself – she showed so much adoration in her nephew too, constantly raving about him.

   If I die before my time, if my aircraft goes down (I am a pilot) I definatly want Julie to come and fetch me – she is a very special angel.

   Until then or later – bye Julie

   (To those guys and gals here online, thank you for helping out and posting).

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