Death of a 12 year old child – does this make sense to you?
Posted on February 19th, 2008 by Richard Catto 3,124 views
How much sense does this make to you?
You’re a mom with kids in your car (including your own) on the way to school and you stop off to pick up another kid. Whilst sitting outside in your car, a suspicious man comes out of the house and ignores your questions as to who he is and then goes back into the house you are waiting outside.
So you call Chubb Security (and only them, not also the police). Then you wait outside the house for security to arrive, instead of driving off to a safe distance. Then when security arrives, the criminals inside the house open fire on the security guards and one of your daughters inside your car is hit and killed.
Does it make sense to hang around in a potential battle zone with or without kids?
This is what happened on Tuesday, February 12 2008 to Emily Williams, a 12 year old grade 7 pupil, whose mother did not think to get clear of the area. Only after the gun battle erupted and after her daughter had been struck did she think it was now a good time to drive off, vainly trying to reach medical aid in time to save her daughter.
That’s like standing on the beach watching the tsunami waves rolling in, calling for help and only thinking of flight once the waves are already crashing over your head.
Surely it makes sense to run for high ground first and then call for help?
What was that mother thinking? Am I being insensitive for second guessing a woman who has just lost one of her daughters to crime?
Obviously, I am saddened by the loss to violent crime of yet another young person, but reading the account on iAfrica it just struck me how irrationally that mother behaved.
What do you think about this?
Tags: Chubb security, Crime, Emily Williams, SAPS, Trinity House Preparatory School
Filed under Crime, Emily Williams |
27 Responses to “Death of a 12 year old child – does this make sense to you?”
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Richard Catto Says:
February 19th, 2008 at 17:38Wade that kind of comment is going to get your ass banned (again).
I regret the loss of most lives lost, especially that of an innocent young child and in this case because of the poor judgement (imo) exercised by her parent.
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Richard Catto Says:
February 19th, 2008 at 18:00Wade, the next argumentative remark from you gets you banned again.
Freedom of Speech does not apply to privately owned blogs. And if you wrote a lot of noise on a government owned web site, they’d also ban your ass.
This is my blog and therefore I get to write whatever I want. I don’t need to put up with your crap, and I won’t.
I’m getting really sick of your shit.
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arnold Says:
February 19th, 2008 at 20:48Violent crime is getting so common in our country one would think that everyone would know by now that you need to get as far away as possible from any potential danger spot. This was definitely a stupid act by the mother. Having said this let me also add that the loss of yet another innocent child is disturbing.
arnold’s last blog post..General Marketing Blog is at it again
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Amy Says:
February 19th, 2008 at 22:39I wouldnt say irrational, but i would say naive. IT would be irrational if she knew exactly what was going on and didnt make a run for it – i havent read the article, and perhaps i will later, but from your description it sounds like it just didnt occur to this woman just how much potential danger she was in, which just makes her naive in the most.
Amy’s last blog post..The Butterfly Effect
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Richard Catto Says:
February 19th, 2008 at 22:48Yes, naive and clueless and stupid.
It just amazes me that it did not occur to this woman that she and the children with her were potentially in a heck of a lot of danger.
I wonder if her marriage will survive this (assuming she’s married, that is)? I don’t think I could stay married to such a woman. I would blame her for the death of my child and never be able to get over it.
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Amy Says:
February 20th, 2008 at 03:26I think i could understand feelings of blame on behalf of the childs father, but i think losing a child is complicated enough, without placing blame on anyone’s shoulders.
Even in circumstances where a child becomes ill and dies, such as my brother, i think there is still feelings of guilt and blame in those situations aswell.
But i can see where you would be coming from Richard – i suppose its a matter of do you love your wife enough to know she made a terrible mistake, but that doesnt make her a terrible person ? You’d have to hold on to the love you’ve always had for her as your wife, and try not to put that above the love you had for your child….
Amy’s last blog post..The Butterfly Effect
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Guy McLaren Says:
February 20th, 2008 at 07:24Richard this is low, No one would actually expect a war to break out where they are parked waiting for a kid, At the worst this mother is guilty of naivety.
A cousin of mine was killed by a bullet in similar circumstances. Its a tragedy, your idiocy adds no value to the conversation.
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Bridget Says:
February 20th, 2008 at 11:08Richard, I think this post is insensitive.
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Marko Says:
February 20th, 2008 at 18:04As ordinary citizens we are not trained to deal with the increasing violence in our country.
Sure it was dumb to hang around but I bet she was concerned for her friend’s kid too. It’s easy to point a finger at her and say “she’s stupid” etc. but you know what, it wasn’t her fault. Fuck these bastard criminals terrorising us in our own neighborhoods. -
Richard Catto Says:
February 20th, 2008 at 19:44I guess what appears obvious to me, was not obvious to that woman at that time and place.
She missed the warning signs, and it cost her dearly.
Thing is, that woman felt enough concern about the situation to call in security. She knew something was going down. It’s not as if she was blissfully unaware that a crime was probably in progress.
And yet, knowing this, she remained in the area in her expensive car with children, right in the danger zone. She knew she was parked in a HOT zone.
What was she thinking?
This situation is NOT unique to Mzansi. This is not something that ONLY happens here.
This is the situation with crime anywhere in the world. America just suffered 5 school shootings in ONE week.
The warning sent out on those American campuses was to stay away, stay indoors, stay out of the HOT zones.
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Angelika Says:
February 21st, 2008 at 03:59I think MOST people (especially women) don’t pay attention to their “inner voice”/intuition.
Maybe she was distracted.
Maybe she lives in a good neighborhood where “Things like this just don’t happen to us.”
You never know what was going on in her mind.
We can only assume that she’ll be second guessing herself for the rest of her life.
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Richard Catto Says:
February 21st, 2008 at 04:05Angelika » I know. It’s very sad. People never get over the death of a child and it is one of the greatest stressors in married life.
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I am getting a bit sick and tired of certain idiots | Cape Town news Says:
February 21st, 2008 at 06:32[...] Tueday I wrote about an unfortunate incident where a mother’s negligence led to the death of her child. I’ve now been accused of trolling for attention because of [...]
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Tiffany Says:
February 21st, 2008 at 20:20Just a guess, but maybe she was thinking about the child INSIDE the house whom she’d come to pick up. Maybe she realized that if there was danger, that child was in more jeopardy than she or her child was, and (like any normal parent) found herself torn between taking action to investigate and possibly intervene on behalf of the other child and running with her own child to safer ground. Even the briefest indecision in that kind of circumstance can be fatal–but that can go either way.
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Richard Catto Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 01:28Tiffany » Well, precisely. You can’t afford to hesitate or suffer from indecision. You must KNOW exactly what to do and do it immediately.
Civilians must have as a first priority their own safety. They must not attempt a rescue themselves. They must get to safety as a priority and then call in help. The police are trained to deal with criminals – they are not.
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Tiffany Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 01:52Richard, I can’t help but notice that you’ve developed a standard that you believe in and express your opinion as if it were fact. In fact, if everyone followed your program, many people who have been rescued by civilians in circumstances where time did not allow for an official response would be dead. In your value system, your own safety might be first priority. It’s certainly not in mine, and above all not where the safety of a child is concerned.
Based on your statement above, can I assume that you feel that the teachers who have saved students at risk (and sometimes loss) of their own lives in school shootings should not have done what they did? That the girl at Columbine who covered the boy in the athletic clothing with her own body when it became apparent that “jocks” were being executed was not a hero but someone who behaved irresponsibly?
I’m going to stop here because I feel a rant building and I don’t want to get into it; I think there’s a mentality behind your comment that defies human nature. Of course, my perspective might have been distorted by watching my recklessly irresponsible father save two people from a burning plane as a child. Very wrong of him, I know–he’s not trained to deal with that kind of thing at all, and I know that the fire department could have safely removed their bodies from the wreckage when they eventually arrived if he’d only had sense enough to mind his own business and let them die.
Tiffany’s last blog post..Publishing Pitfalls for Parents
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Richard Catto Says:
February 22nd, 2008 at 07:46Tiffany » Tiffany, like most ranters you’re going way off topic. We’re talking about one situation not every.
If any kind of armed crime is going down, civilians must vacate the area as a priority. They must not attempt any vigilante action. They must not try to save anyone except those who are immediately around them. If a child has wandered off, now is not the time to try and find them. Save what you can and get out.
If you remain in the area, you could get shot by either the criminals or the security forces responding to the crime. By remaining in the area, you make the job of the police harder. You also could be abducted and held as a hostage.
On a personal note, I would not have wanted either of my parents to risk their lives to save other people. They’re my parents, they should stay alive for me. Parents have a responsibility to stay alive to care for their own children. They also have a responsibility to their spouse. Heroics are for those trained to help.
There are countless reports of fathers diving into rough seas to try to save a kid in distress (either their own or someone else’s), and the outcome is that both drown. Don’t do it. Rather let the kid drown, than drown yourself too and deprive your family of your care. Don’t do it.
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the irony | Cape Town news Says:
February 28th, 2008 at 05:33[...] some reason, the post I wrote recently about Emily Williams sent him and a few others over the edge with rage. They denounced me as a troll in blog postings [...]
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Eric Says:
February 29th, 2008 at 12:58A remarkably insensitive post, Richard. I tend to agree with Tiffany. This was a terrible tragedy, yet you want to twist the knife. Shame on you.
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Richard Catto Says:
February 29th, 2008 at 13:35Actually, Eric, I wanted to warn others not to let the same thing happen to them by making the same basic mistake.
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andr01d Says:
March 4th, 2008 at 17:15Richard, you’re fucking right. There’s a reason people have a fight or flight response to danger.
If you’re with children, your priority is for their safety.
I think the problem was that she had no idea the occupants were armed and decided to ‘rentacrowd’ the altercation sure to come. It’s just a pity her poor bloody daughter had to bear the consequence.
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Kerry Says:
March 27th, 2008 at 16:15I personally don’t thinks it’s fair to post a thing like this! Emily was one of my friends and Toni NEVER knew the robbers were armed! She was trying to help Alison and her family. I dearly miss Emily but posting things like this make our ability to come to terms with her death WAY harder! If you have been in a situation where someone has broken into your friend’s home and the police in SA are as shit responsive as they are we take matters into our own hands! I KNOw FOR A FACT that if this were one of your family members (TONI AND EMILY) you wouldn’t ever write stuff like this! Think of how YOU would feel if people blamed the death of your child on you! You people are sick! Yes maybe she could have driven away but she never pulled the trigger! Now think of that! May God’s grace be with you my dear friend and your family
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Toni Williams Says:
April 20th, 2008 at 19:41These comments have struck every chord of guilt I have a mother have felt, whilst having trying to come to terms with the loss of my daughter. I resent having to weigh my decisions against the criminal mind – something that is irrational, insensitive and unpredictable. Living in this country is like living in a war zone and the level of violence is frightening – something the that terrifies me, my family and friends daily, and whereas we may have been considered naive before we viewed it as optimism in our country. With hindsight every decision I and others made on that day would have been different but we do not always have the knowledge of hindsight. The choices I made were based on the information I had at the time, not all of which were reported in the media, which I would undoubtedly change knowing what was happening now. Perhaps we all live in naivety in Sa, taking comfort in the fact “this would never happen to me” because you would have been wiser, smarter, more intuitive…. I pray to God for that because this country has suffered enough losses and it is sad that we have to rationalise normal behaviour in an abnormal society.
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Emily Williams’ family is going back to England | Cape Town news Says:
May 11th, 2008 at 13:55[...] February 12 2008, 12 year old Emily Williams was shot and killed by armed robbers while she sat in her mom’s car outside the house that [...]
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Tracey Hall-Green Says:
August 17th, 2009 at 14:25How dreadful that this happened to a British family who had only been in SA for a year.Glad the savages who murdered her have got life, lets hope they rot in jail. I don’t blame her parents for never wanting to set foot in SA again.I love living in the UK having left SA in 1996 and feel very safe here. Has anyone thought of what could have happened if Alison had scarpered ? And not called the security firm? Who know how you will react in a situation like that ? You will never know until it happens to you. God forbid it ever does.
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Phillippa Says:
August 18th, 2009 at 12:36All I can say is how despicable Richard’s comments are. Emily’s death was a tragedy and I don’t wish it on any mother. No one knows how they will react in that situation as I’m sure everything happened so fast. I am so glad all three men have been convicted now. May they rot in hell for what they’ve done.
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Richard Catto Says:
August 18th, 2009 at 14:30@Phillippa: Emily’s death was avoidable. I guess it’s not something you want to hear. You can’t argue with a gun, you can just get out of its way.
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