A Technopeasant and Tippex
Posted on November 7th, 2007 by Richard Catto 1,556 views
As a technopeasant of note I am struggling to sort out RSS feeds with Feedburner etc. Hell, only recently did I stop using tippex with spellchecking. I will eventually overcome these obstacles and all of my posts will then be available as feeds. (currently my oldest posts are not linked with any type of feed and I’m struggling to sort it out.)
I thus put up one of my old posts as introduction to Cape Town news.
A few Ideas to Make the World A Better Place
Before even considering running for office every would-be politician should be forced to do a 200 word review of at least 10 books they have read in their lifetime. This should be done from memory and under strict supervision of at least 5 stern old librarians, with their hair up in buns and sporting bi-focal spectacles, reading over their shoulders. A time limit should also be set for the completion of this task as politicians are known procrastinators.
Severe penalties for failure of this selection should be implemented as to deter the dregs of society that normally consider politics as a career to try and pull a fast one. Public execution by means of disembowelment with a blunt wooden spoon comes to mind.
This suggestion will make for a better society as it will cut out a lot of crap politicians normally get away with. Some of the things it will ensure are the following:
There will be proof that the individual can actually read and write.
A thorough examination of the memory of the said individual will be conducted as to eliminate the “ailment” politicians seem to suffer from at any given time during their term of public office i.e. amnesia. This is of quite some importance when it comes to fulfilling promises made during election campaigns.
They will be able to write their own speeches and thus save on tax-payer’s money as to cut out a few of the lackeys normally part of the entourage of a person in office.
Individuals like Mangosuthu ("Gatsha") Ashpenaz Nathan Buthelezi will get so carried away with this task that they will be kept out of the public eye for years to come.
A lot of individuals will be eliminated by this process as any reference, hint or quote to and from Asterix, Tin-Tin and Superman should lead to immediate disqualification. The same applies for works of Robert Suresh Roberts and Dan Roodt.
Proper appointments to cabinet positions can be made based on the contents of the individual’s library:
The Minister for Safety and Security should have at least 3 book covering law and order and not base his expertise on watching soap operas on TV.
The Minister for Health’s library should sport at least the Reader’s Digest version of “Home Doctor.” Herbal remedies and traditional healers do not count!
In turn the minister for Finance should know the currency used by 5 different countries by heart. Double-entry Italian book-keeping might be too much to ask for. (The oldest known form of financial accountability)
God, what a novel idea! I would vote for any political party that implements this selection process in a flash. How wonderful it would be to be governed by people that passed this simple test instead of the current ignorant oafs.
Tags: Africa, Gerrie Hugo, Humour, Politicians, Sweden
Filed under Gerrie Hugo, Humour | 4 Comments »
Cape Town news welcomes Gerrie Hugo to our blog roll
Posted on November 3rd, 2007 by Richard Catto 1,545 views
Gerrie Hugo is a South African living in Sweden.
You may not like everything he writes because he is scathingly critical of South Africa, especially in regards the lack of personal safety due to crime, that weighs heavily on him.
However, he writes well. You will get a jaundiced view of South Africa, but also an intelligent and articulate one, like his recent article, Shooting the Bull, in which he satirises Mbeki’s authorised biography "Fit to Govern: The Native Intelligence of Thabo Mbeki" by Ronald Suresh Roberts.
Hugo produces for us, his own list of politicians and humorously rates their fitness to govern in terms of how well they can shoot (marksmanship):
Nelson Mandela — will always be number one sniper to be deployed in the most desperate of situations when one needs to get the job done. He can name his price.
Swedish Politicians — can be left alone as they will hit the target 50% of the time, adhere to safety regulations and spend the rest of the time in meetings discussing the merit of each and every shot fired. They are also very fond of special committees where some more discussing can be done and therefore worth their salaries.
Robert Mugabe — to be terminated with extreme prejudice as he could not hit any target and thus decided to blow up all the shooting ranges. He is still armed. Sulking and sitting in the middle of fuck-all, looking for a target. Name your price to cull this abhorrent viral strain.
Thabo Mbeki — can not be allowed close to any shooting range as he failed the entry exam for eight consecutive years. He is yet to hit a cow’s arse with a double-barrelled shotgun at five feet. And yet he earns almost R 2 million annually.
I think I am going to enjoy reading his future blog posts, and I invite Cape Town news readers to join me there. In fact, I hope Gerrie will deploy feedburner to manage his RSS feeds and also allow readers to subscribe to a daily email digest of them, which is my preferred method of RSS feed consumption these days.
Tags: Fit to Govern, Gerrie Hugo, marksmanship, Nelson Mandela, Ronald Suresh Roberts, South Africa, Sweden, Thabo Mbeki
Filed under Ex-pat South African, Gerrie Hugo, Sweden | No Comments »
