I found a great new cartoonist – Johnny Ancich
Posted on July 16th, 2008 by Richard Catto 1,868 views
"Professor Felps, we meet again! Remember me? Biology disection class!"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Tags: Cartoon, frog jokes, Humour, Johnny Ancich
Filed under Cartoon, Humour, Joke, jokes | 1 Comment »
The Amish farmer and the Muslim
Posted on November 21st, 2007 by Richard Catto 3,066 views
An Amish farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond.
The farmer shouts, "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen!" which means, "Don’t drink the water. The cows have shit in it!"
The man shouts back, "I’m a Muslim, I don’t understand what you are saying. Please speak English."
The Amish farmer yells back, "Use two hands! You’ll get more!"
Tags: Amish, Humour, Joke, Muslim
Filed under Joke | 5 Comments »
I woke up this morning with an orange penis!
Posted on November 7th, 2007 by Richard Catto 1,385 views
So, fuck, I woke up this morning and discovered that somehow my penis had turned orange overnight!
I was in a FLAT PANIC and so, obviously, the first thing I did was call the DOCTOR!
He asked me, did I enjoy cheese curls. I thought what the fuck has that got to do with anything but I answered him anyway, "Yers."
So then he asks me, "Did you watch any pornography last night?"
You can see where this is going, can’t you?
Fucking smarmy cunt! I’m getting a new doctor. And some more cheese curls. And… fuck you!
Tags: cheese curls, Joke, penis humour
Filed under Joke | 1 Comment »
Raised terror alert level in Britain
Posted on July 20th, 2007 by Richard Catto 5,243 views
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross".
Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.
It is not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert its level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish Navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Filed under Humour, Joke | No Comments »
I’ve been thinking…
Posted on July 5th, 2007 by Richard Catto 9,292 views
Husband: I’m the MAN of this house, so starting tomorrow, I want you to have a hot delicious meal ready for me the second I walk through that door.
Afterwards, while watching TV and relaxing in my chair, you’ll bring me my slippers and then run my bath. And when I’m done with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?
Wife: The funeral director.
Filed under Humour, Joke | 2 Comments »
